Into each life some rain must fall – Henry Wadsworth

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Are we always on a quest to find meaning to any sensation of fear or pain that we experience ? What exactly am I after ?

I live with a sometimes disabling anxiety. I occasionally drive my myself crazy over nothing; caught-up worrying about the future. Questioning every minute of how deserving i am of the present and feeling a little scared to fully enjoy what is right here – busy preparing myself for when it will be snatched away like every other thing [how crazy ? What an infertile way of thinking? I spin my wheels]

I need to focus on right now. Darn it! If tomorrow is ruthless. Into each life some rain must fall. I have no control over tomorrow but i have the power to feel appreciative and deserving of all that is happening right now.

The truth is: I have a long journey ahead and a lot of years to live; Mannie tomorrow will take care of itself – just like every other day.

Peace be still.

What is it about January ?

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I don’t get it. I don’t even make resolution in January because my new year often kicks in weeks after the change of date.

What is it about January that makes me feel like a troubled child …. Arggggh

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For every emotion, combat with an affirmation – says Me!

I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me…I own me and therefore I can engineer me…I am me

And

it is the year 2015

Achieving the year (2014)

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On expressing my gratitude for the lessons, tears and laughter in 2014

👣Closure is part of the process not the process
👣 Facebook and Instagram feeds are just notification not a dateline
👣Single, engaged, it’s complicated is a status not a state of well being
👣Unexpected is a game changer
👣Love grows dead or alive
👣Anxiety is a biaaaatchhhhh !!!
👣Thou shall not ruin the holiday spirit with undeserving company
👣Deal breakers are a two way street
👣To allow or to let someone is a fragile but necessary stand to take in life
👣Self care, self care and more self care
👣Heaven bless a good coworker; it makes a difference
👣Poor is the woman whose pleasure depends on the permission of others
👣Something’s are beautiful because they are heartbreaking
👣Mom makes a great friend and confident
👣Your dish detergent should be your new stain remover -Effective
👣I yearn for connection, intimacy, understanding, companionship

Between Tides

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Somewhere between where am at and where I am going; nothing is more paralyzingly than the unknown. Tonight I will sail through the tides with a soothing cup of mojito-marmalade tea and a scoop of honey. Little has got to be more. I just can’t do lots right now

I’m kinda sailing through this tides with hopes of coming across a pearl ✨

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Calm an Anxious heart

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This is for all the odd mornings that; I wake up realizing that am going to need more than my alarm clock to get out of my bed.

This for those mornings that; I have to take a deeper breath to ground myself, else I might not step my foot on the ground.

This is for all the mornings that; I realize that it is yet another day that I wake up with a locked throat and a sore shoulder and back.

This for those mornings that; I do not wake up as my bubbly self and I have to make a conscious decision to do my breathing excerises and drink some water.

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This for all the odd morning that; I cannot snap-out-of-it. So, I crawl out of bed feeling vulnerable and slightly disoriented.

This is for all of those mornings and odd hours of my day that have been punctuated by generalized anxiety disorder.

This for all those victorious mornings that; i slowly allow a breath of fresh air to run through my lungs into my nostrils till I feel the tightness around the muscles beneath my shoulder blades and lower back relax.

This is for a morning like today, when i wake up to the realization that I need to breathe a little longer, a little deeper to regain the normalcy of my day.

Just Breathe …

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