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Are we always on a quest to find meaning to any sensation of fear or pain that we experience ? What exactly am I after ?

I live with a sometimes disabling anxiety. I occasionally drive my myself crazy over nothing; caught-up worrying about the future. Questioning every minute of how deserving i am of the present and feeling a little scared to fully enjoy what is right here – busy preparing myself for when it will be snatched away like every other thing [how crazy ? What an infertile way of thinking? I spin my wheels]

I need to focus on right now. Darn it! If tomorrow is ruthless. Into each life some rain must fall. I have no control over tomorrow but i have the power to feel appreciative and deserving of all that is happening right now.

The truth is: I have a long journey ahead and a lot of years to live; Mannie tomorrow will take care of itself – just like every other day.

Peace be still.