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On being less judgmental and more appreciative of the hand that fed me  – happy new year momma 

Learning to recognize her beyond wifehood.

Wifehood in itself being a socially constructed identity not a biological role – Molara ogundipe

I am a woman originating from the indigenous Black Africa, not White South Africa, or English kenya or Arab Africa. I am a contemporary raised african who will forever battle the contradictory ” status” of inherited cultures and modern conditions of life.
I have come to realize that in a not so ” neutral” way that; I will remain emotionally bound to my ethnicity through family ties and be a “womanist” at heart.

Where, a  womanist be defined as << an african woman and feminist with a sense of being committed to survival and wholeness of entire people, male and female; being not in any way separatist, wishing to keep certain features of their traditions; those which are positive to women – Alice Walker >>

As i go about my existential crises, which have now inspired me to seek answers to the following questions, who is the african woman ? Why is her absence ever central and taken for granted in hotly debated topics surrounding her voicelessness ? Why are african feminist stigmatized as ” angry feminist” ? Are african women educable or did they simply choose to stay uneducated about women issues ?

I realized that i have had an underlining discriminating approach as i repeatedly failed to recognized the African woman (mother’s in particular) beyond her wifehood. Therefore, to understand her multi faced identities i must look for her role and status in places other than her marriage.

The African woman is not emotional rebellious but that doesn’t make her voiceless, she speaks in her silence, she speaks in her kitchen, in commercial spaces or at festive events, if i must listen to her voice in an unuttered way, then i must be willing to listen to her speak in ” women spaces” even if it’s often in the absence of men

i have condescended my own, each time i equated an entire life to wifehood. It’s obvious that in the process i forgot to embrace the resilient and encompassing mother who raised (me) us, our female husband

The african woman is female husband and codified as a (i) male daughter in her father’s house (ii) a husband to her mother and (iii) a woman married into her patrillineage –  Molara Ogundipe

Interestingly enough, i myself can relate to the status of a female husbands ….. Twas the african womanist saga